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Saturday, March 20, 2010

Some people just dont get it

so my ex partner has decided he wants more time with my daughter, not days though....he knows hes welcome to come visit her whenever he wants, he never does, he never rings me to see how she is, and actually complained one week cause he had her for TOO much day time and didn't have time for him self..WAKE UP!!, i never have time for myself, but that's one down side to being a parent, i can wait, all i want is to see my daughter happy and content, and everything i do is in her best interests, not my own.

so back to the problem, he wants her for 2 nights a week even 3, (not DAYS), because that eats into his time, and hes acting like hes hard done by, he forgets the reasons why i left, one being he never did anything for her when we were together, and now all of the sudden hes "father of the year", im sorry mister, i will not stop you from seeing your daughter as SHE deserves to know her dad, but you really need to grow up and stop being so self adsorbed, you put me through HELL, you stood all over me, you never did anything unless you benefited from it, and many other things that im not ready to mention as it hurts ohh so much...

I will go to court i will be there front row center, i will not protect you anymore, i have no idea why i did in the first place...i never knew i was being abused until a complete stranger on the phone one day (from child support, which he also refuses to pay) said to me, "miss you were abused terribly in that relationship, he may not of hit you, but what he did is just as bad", from that Moment my eyes opened, and now im never shutting them again

below is an extract from www.help guide.com/domestic violence for any other women who may be questioning there position in there relationships

Emotional or psychological abuse

The aim of emotional or psychological abuse is to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence. If you’re the victim of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way out of the relationship, or that without your abusive partner you have nothing.

Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence.

You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with scars. But, the scars of emotional abuse are very real, and they run deep. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—sometimes even more so. Furthermore, emotional abuse usually worsens over time, often escalating to physical battery.

Friday, March 19, 2010

So here i am

As everyone says....writing it all down is good therapy....so here i am starting a blog...
i have no idea where to start but one of my resolutions this year was to get out there and try new things so here i am...

Im a single mother who has been on a roller coater for the past few months of my life, but i cannot complain as it has forced me to stand tall and be strong, and be proud of the mother i am, and greatful for my family who stand around me like soldiars, (thankyou), im as what society likes to call a doormat...i let people walk all over me, just taking it all like a scape goat, but that all changed last year where my partner started mentally and emotionally abusing me to the point of borderline break down, it was the strength and love of motherhood that gave me the push to leave, walkout before i hit a point of no return...and making a promise to myself that gone with thee days of being a doormat...its hard, i think back at the relationship and the anger i have at myself for not having the respect for myself to walk out is huge...but its time to change....I AM WOMAN as they say...